It’s Simply a Matter of Skill

I keep sleeping through my alarms. If I didn’t have anything important to do, it wouldn’t be a big deal. However, if I sleep through ny alarms and don’t open my store, I might get fired.

And that’s bad.

So I found this app where you have to do math to turn off the alarm or make it snooze. I thought it would be a great idea. Unfortunately I appear to have an amazing ability to add and subtract regardless of how awake I am. In fact, I seem to be better when I’m not fully awake than when I’m fully awake.

And that’s a scary thought.

Though it’s not nearly aa frightening as how many people it took to change the soap in the bathroom today.

I got this call from my store asking how to do it. They said they’d both tried, and nothing was working. So I asked if they had the key.

Which makes me sad, because what kind if world do we live in where soap dispensers have to be designed to keep people from stealing the specially designed soap container that only dispenses soap from an approved dispenser?

So, anyway, they found the key in another dispenser, however, they were unable to dislodge it. These aren’t little weakling nerdy boys. These are down to earth guys, one of which is delightfully blue collar and the other is active and athletic. Yet neither of them could pull one little piece of plastic out of the other. Right.

Uriah to the rescue.

So I get out of my oh-so-comfy bed and drive over to my store. Sure enough, the key won’t budge. I was emasculated three inches of plastic.

Somewhere along the way, while explaining how to do it over the phone, they got a thing stuck in the empty dispenser. This thing looks like the appropriate tool, however, it is not.


I have to drop to my knees in this tiny bathroom and wedge myself between the toilet and the wall just to look at this thing.  (There’s a nice gay joke in there somewhere, I’m sure.)

Long story short, I was saved by my pen.  And I’m sure tomorrow I’ll get a call or text message from someone telling me I’m an idiot for not knowing how to unjam it.

The highlight of my day was The Grocery Store calling me in regards to my survey.  I wonder if they got my email yet? The woman on the phone sounded so cheerful.  Hopefully I’ll have some cool story about our conversation tomorrow.

Today’s Post Brought to You by the Letters B and S

Someone stank up the bathroom before I got in here. And now someone’s waiting outside.

They’re gonna think it was me. But, I swear, my poo doesn’t smell like that. My poo smells like ice cream and flowers.


But, hey, at least they managed to poo INSIDE the toilet. Always a plus.

Happy Friday!

So, today’s my Friday. I’m excited for that. It means I can sleep in. And, boy, do I want to sleep in. Which means I’ll probably wake up around six. It’s sad when 6am is sleeping in. I’m generally getting up when everyone else is leaving the club.

So I wonder: what should I do tonight? Anything?

I’m open to suggestions…

And, as a side note: food always tastes better when the boss buys it.


She was so tired she just sort of fell over. That’s about how I feel.