A Cut and Almost Getting Run Over

The only thought that went through my mind as I dove for the brush, my safety, was, “DAMN! If only I could get a picture!”

And what did I want to get a picture of?

The car, in the hiking park, that almost ran me over.


Don’t mistake my meaning. This wasn’t in the parking lot, or walking to the park. This was inside the park, surrounded by trees, plants, dung beetles, sunflowers, rabbits, and, apparently, motorized vehicles driven by homicidal maniacs who wave when they pass by.

I consider almost being run over by these smiling, waving lunatics almost ironic, and certainly fitting, considering my life, since I just read Fahrenheit 451 yesterday.

I also met a rock that didn’t like me walking on it, and therefore decided to run away.


The end result was me cleaning my leg with tampons (why can’t we be a normal family and have cotton balls?) soaked in witch hazel, shaving the area (no leg waxing via bandaid for me, no sir), and butterflied it shut.



Lovely view, right? Also, here is a picture of some pretty flowers:


And Then Someone Potties in the Trash Can

Yesterday started off rather decent. I decided not to workout at all, something I haven’t done in weeks. I thought my body could use the rest.

Then I had a conversation with my boss and everything went to Hell. No matter, I’m getting what I need and I’ll be able to eat in June, and that’s what matters most, right?

Of course, that’s about the time my back started to hurt. No big deal. Can’t ride out the pain, I have meds for that. They didn’t kick in, but no matter, I can take it.

Then I go outside to do the trash. It’s late, about 9:30pm. It was a warm day, getting up into the lower 90s. I get all but one. The last one. And that’s when it hits me.

The smell.

There’s a certain smell dead things have when they start to decay. It’s unlike anything else. I’ve smelled it enough in my life to recognize it, or so I thought.

Things die all the time. Maybe some customer found a dead bird or had a pet they needed to dispose of and thought my trashcan would be the best place for it. I don’t ask questions. It’s better not to know some things.

I took the cover off and grabbed hold of the bag. This is one of the few times I’ve decided not to wear gloves while changing trash. There wasn’t much of it, and what trash there was consisted of mostly paper and cardboard. Nothing too messy.

I unrolled the bag from under the rim of the trash can, and the smell started to get worse. I turned my head to the side to get a bit of fresh air, then I lifted. The trash in the bag shifted. It was heavier than I thought, about 50 pounds. I took a breath to steady myself for the long pull. And it hit me.

It was like getting smacked in the face with a Louisville Slugger by Jose Canseco.  I stumbled a bit. It wasn’t that death smell. This was something completely different. I couldn’t place it. Rather, I didn’t want to place it. My brain knew what it was, it just didn’t want to share that knowledge. I poked it, prodded it, annoyed it like a little brother. And it told me halfway through my third try.


Someone, many hours before, had pooped in the trashcan.

And it sat there.

In the sun.

In 90+ degrees.




I staggered.  Put my hands on my knees for balance. And retched.  Repeatedly.  My eyes watered. My stomach heaved, roiled, tried to boil over.

I couldn’t get away from it because my body was trying to purge itself of some horrid thing it thought was inside.  It didn’t know what was attacking it was outside. I almost had to crawl away from the vile…creation, left for me by some kind and generous soul.

Somehow, the stench has managed to permeate every fiber of my clothing, and for the last three hours of my shift, I smelled of poo that sat in the sun, through the heat of the day. My evening was not pleasant after that.

God bless you, Trash Can Pooper.

On the bright side, this is my ride:


This is my view from the driver’s seat:


Gotta take the good with the bad, right?

What I saw on my run today

I ran today. A lot. Two hours, actually.  All on no sleep, having worked ten hours last night, spending two hours at home, then going back to work for another ten hours, and then going for my run. I’ve eaten a cheeseburger and a bag of chips. I wonder how much better I could have done if I’d had a proper amount of sleep and nourishment?

I did see some cool things, like copious amounts of bunnies. They were cute, all running away thinking I was a predator with my slow jogging.


And I saw this really cool flower that looks like a champagne flute, but the inside was prettier, so that’s what I stopped and took a picture of. The inside. IT’S WHAT’S INSIDE THAT COUNTS THE MOST, PEOPLE!!!



And then I saw another bunny. Actually, I saw a lot of bunnies, but I only got pictures of two.


All in all, it was a great workout. I can’t wait for my next one.



Everyday I’m shufflin’.