The Secret

Wanna know how I stay so smooth?

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I drink a TON of smoothies.

If that joke left a bad taste in your mouth, this smoothie certainly won’t.

And with all the fruit and kale jammed into it, your body will probably thank you.

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I make a big smoothie everyday, and love it.  There’s so many combinations out there, so many possibilities in the world of blender mayhem healthful drinking, it seems I might never try them all.

This wonderful green beauty I’ve shown you? Bananas, green plumcot, kale, pineapple, kiwi, protein powder, a splash of milk, and some Greek yogurt.

That’s exactly how a good smoothie recipe should be written. Why?

Because you’re taking a bunch of healthy crap and throwing it in the blender. It’s not chemistry! You don’t need a formula!

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So go forth to frothy goodness!

Life is Short

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Life is short. Enjoy it while you can. You never know when that flyswatter’s gonna come down on you.

Midnight: the ancient father

When I first moved back to texas in 2005, there was this crazy, stubborn, suicidal cat that would lay in the drive way. He never moved unless you got out and tried to pet him. You couldn’t shoo him away, you actually had to get down and try to pet him to be able to park without killing him.

I’ve taken to calling him midnight since no one ever saw him during the day for years.  Now he’s old, sick, and adores attention.

We don’t know who he belongs to. Hell come around from time to time, sometimes hanging around every night for weeks on end, only to disappear for a few months, then randomly stop in for dinner.

This has been one of those months where he seems to come by every night after not being around for a few months.  He has a few more scars he seems t have traded for his teeth.  We do know someone was taking care of him at some point since he looks to have been hit by a car, then taken to a vet.

His fur is matted. He doesn’t breathe well. But he still comes up to be petted in his greasy, dirty head.

It makes me sad that this sweet cat doesn’t have someone to cuddle up with. It makes me angry someone would just let him run around matted and malnourished. Why bother having the cat taken care of after running it over if you aren’t going to care for it yourself?

Midnight is a testament to things I think we’ve lost as humans, wallowing in our technology. We expect everything to be handed to us. We expect our cars to run, our air conditioners to cool us in summer, our meals to be simple. We’ve forgotten that it’s only from perseverance we’ve managed to accomplish so much. We’re not entitled to anything, from anywhere, for any reason.

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Take a tip from Midnight. He knows how easily life can be taken.

Get off your ass and do something.

Today’s Post Brought to You by the Letters B and S

Someone stank up the bathroom before I got in here. And now someone’s waiting outside.

They’re gonna think it was me. But, I swear, my poo doesn’t smell like that. My poo smells like ice cream and flowers.

Honest.

But, hey, at least they managed to poo INSIDE the toilet. Always a plus.

Happy Friday!

So, today’s my Friday. I’m excited for that. It means I can sleep in. And, boy, do I want to sleep in. Which means I’ll probably wake up around six. It’s sad when 6am is sleeping in. I’m generally getting up when everyone else is leaving the club.

So I wonder: what should I do tonight? Anything?

I’m open to suggestions…

And, as a side note: food always tastes better when the boss buys it.

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She was so tired she just sort of fell over. That’s about how I feel.

Cheers!

Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew!

Baths. Are. Gross.

They say baths are relaxing. A nice, warm bath will help prepare you for sleep.

The only thing a bath is good for is sitting in your own filth. What, I should marinate myself for the monster under the bed? “Mmmm,” said the monster, “Uriah stew! Fresh from the tub, even!’

Stupid stupid stupid

So I took time out of my very busy day (and tight sleep schedule) to write a lovely little blog post and stupid WordPress for Android is telling met blog doesn’t exist. Yay.

So here’s a random picture from my iPhone.

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