I SWEAR I didn’t smoke my brain away

I don’t know why, but my memory sucks, which is something which can be quite dangerous when you work in a fast paced environment. Think about that scene in Memento where he’s running from the guy shooting at him, gets distracted by the dogs, and then almost gets shot because he thinks he’s chasing the guy with the gun. The difference is I usually don’t have a distraction to blame it on.

Take, for example, our lunch rush today in Subway.  Do you know how many times, on average, I had to ask people what kind of cheese they wanted on their sandwich? 3. THREE!  That’s absurd!  And I’m only 28.  Can you imagine what I’m going to be like when I’m 90?!?!?!

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car – both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself,  ‘I must be losing it.  I could have sworn we just went through a red light.’

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.  Again, they went right through.

The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, ‘Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!’

Mildred turned to her and said, ‘Oh, crap, am I driving ?’

Probably just like that.
Yes, America, I AM your future!
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