Wait, so I shouldn’t put it on my salad?

Some lady thought Nutella was a health food.  No, really, here’s the article.  She claims it’s apparently because it says it’s part of a complete breakfast.  I guess she didn’t understand the difference between shoving spoonfulls of Nutella into her kid’s face is not, in fact, the same as what Nutella suggests on it’s website:

Create a meal of whole wheat toast or a whole-grain toaster waffle with Nutella® hazelnut spread, a small bowl of sliced strawberries and a glass of 1% milk for a good mix of morning nutrients.

At least I know better than that.  It’s kind of like how blow dryers and curling irons have that wonderful warning label that reads: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.  Thanks!  I thought it would have been a wonderful idea, and now that’s been ruined for me by ConAir and their wonderful label!

There is, however, this wonderful gem of a website with all sorts of warnings for those of us that would rather have a heads up before attempting to multitask toasting Eggo’s in the shower to shave some minutes off the morning routine.

Then there are warnings against the operation of heavy machinery and alcohol consumption on a dog’s prescription.  Damn dogs and their substance abuse!

And then there’s the crown jewel:

Apparatus for facilitating the birth of a child by centrifugal force (I’m not making that up)

he late George and Charlotte Blonsky (New York City and San Jose, California) invented a device (US Patent #3,216,423) to aid women in giving birth — the woman is strapped onto a circular table, and the table is then rotated at high-speed.

“an apparatus which will assist the under-equipped woman by creating a gentle, evenly distributed, properly directed, precision-controlled force, that acts in unison with and supplements her own efforts”.

Wow.  Just.  Wow.

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