Wait, so I shouldn’t put it on my salad?

Some lady thought Nutella was a health food.  No, really, here’s the article.  She claims it’s apparently because it says it’s part of a complete breakfast.  I guess she didn’t understand the difference between shoving spoonfulls of Nutella into her kid’s face is not, in fact, the same as what Nutella suggests on it’s website:

Create a meal of whole wheat toast or a whole-grain toaster waffle with Nutella® hazelnut spread, a small bowl of sliced strawberries and a glass of 1% milk for a good mix of morning nutrients.

At least I know better than that.  It’s kind of like how blow dryers and curling irons have that wonderful warning label that reads: DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.  Thanks!  I thought it would have been a wonderful idea, and now that’s been ruined for me by ConAir and their wonderful label!

There is, however, this wonderful gem of a website with all sorts of warnings for those of us that would rather have a heads up before attempting to multitask toasting Eggo’s in the shower to shave some minutes off the morning routine.

Then there are warnings against the operation of heavy machinery and alcohol consumption on a dog’s prescription.  Damn dogs and their substance abuse!

And then there’s the crown jewel:

Apparatus for facilitating the birth of a child by centrifugal force (I’m not making that up)

he late George and Charlotte Blonsky (New York City and San Jose, California) invented a device (US Patent #3,216,423) to aid women in giving birth — the woman is strapped onto a circular table, and the table is then rotated at high-speed.

“an apparatus which will assist the under-equipped woman by creating a gentle, evenly distributed, properly directed, precision-controlled force, that acts in unison with and supplements her own efforts”.

Wow.  Just.  Wow.

Music as a soundtrack to a book

I don’t necessarily consider myself a fast reader.  I’m not exceedingly slow by any means, but I’m not a fast enough reader to understand why an author would post songs as a soundtrack to a book.

Music as a soundtrack for writing makes perfect sense to me, however.  I completely understand because I use music to set the mood.  Often times I find the tone of my writing changing in response to the tone of a song.  However, offering readers a song to listen to during a chapter confounds me.  It takes more than the roughly 3.5 minutes of a typical song to read a chapter, unless it’s so enormously short it could easily be likened to a car speeding past one’s house.

And while I will, occasionally, find myself liking a song to the extent I will listen to it on repeat, I don’t think I could ever like a song enough to listen to in the background, repeatedly, until I finished a chapter in a story, and then continue to do so with different songs throughout the remainder of a book.  That seems like insanity to me.

It works in movies because we aren’t having to spend long minutes reading the action taking place.  Rather, we are spending mere seconds watching the action as it occurs.

I must be a minority in this since there are entire blogs and such devoted to this.

^^I dare say, there appears to be a joke in that line somewhere.

Self-pity or writer’s block?

So I haven’t written in days.  Not even a blog post.  I just haven’t had the urge…that doesn’t sound quite right.  I’ve wanted to, but every time I sit down at the keyboard, there’s nothing.  So I read a bit, lie down in an attempt to get the characters’ next actions settled a bit in my mind, but it doesn’t help.  Not at all.

Maybe it’s because I’m not happy with where my story has been going and simply wish I could delete it and start over, which is typically where I usually end up (the self-pity portion of “I’m such a terrible writer!  Woe unto me!”) and never finish anything.

Perhaps I just can’t think of anything or anywhere to take it anymore.  I haven’t completely written myself into a corner.  Rather, I may have done the opposite and have no idea whether I want to follow the generic summary I wrote for myself as an outline or if I wish to take it into a separate direction as there are so many options!!!

Alternatively, it may also simply be a loss of motivation.  Maybe I just don’t see a reason to continue writing and am simply unable to admit it to myself.  I’m not sure.

So I have, today, forced myself to sit down, in front of the keyboard, stare at my monitor, and write a blog post.  Then, after this is scheduled to publish, I shall write a second.  After that, I shall sit and write some fiction.

Will it be another short story?  Will it be work on this manuscript I started, perhaps starting it over as a separate document?  Will I start something completely new?

The suspense is killing me!