Who died and made you Queen? Oh, right…

So I woke up Monday morning to a missed call from work.  Great.  This never bodes well.  Usually I’m getting yelled at for not doing something or getting yelled at for doing something or someone called out and I gotta work an extra day/shift/whatever.  It’s just never a good thing to have that missed call from work and the cryptic, “Hey, Uriah, it’s your boss, give me a call when you get the chance, I have a very important question to ask you.”

I was very pleasantly surprised when I called back and was asked if I wanted to be promoted.  I said yes, and that was about it.

Wait, what?  You mean something actually kind of went my way? This totally never happens to me.  EVER.

So, I’m now the new assistant manager of Hell.  Unfortunately, one of the employees wants to be the assistant manager of Hell, which is actually kind of a good thing, since, while I want to be an assistant manager for now, I don’t want to be THE assistant manager of HELL.  No.  Sorry.  I took it because I’m the most trained (there’s all of, like, two things I don’t know yet) and he’s, well, not so much trained.  It wouldn’t make sense to turn down the position with its raise and bonus and better benefits and blahblahblah…

Needless to say, I have a plan.  And, hopefully, the plan will work.  Que evil maniacal laughter now.

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