Really, world, this is what I get from you?

So I logged into a social networking app today and said hi to some people.  A few are a bit sketchy, a couple are relatively sane.  It’s a nice change of pace from the crazies I usually end up with.*

Trying to meet people online is like trying to cross the Sahara without a water skin.  Sometimes you find an oasis, sometimes not.  It’s sad that most people don’t even respond.  I take that back.  It’s infuriating.  I mean, you obviously aren’t that fucking busy if you’re logged into a chat app, right?  Who does business that way?  No one I’ve ever met.  Ok, there was that one hooker, but that was just a conversation.  Really.  It was free and there was no business contact with him whatsoever and you can’t prove otherwise!

I know I’m not that ugly, some would even say I’m cute, so maybe I’m the crazy one. But, really, I always thought I was more loveably insane than axe-murder-crazy. Although the whole staying awake for days on end until I begin to hallucinate thing might prove me wrong someday. I might end up hallucinating someone is trying to kill me or end up completely nuts like dude in “My Bloody Valentine”. You never know.

And that’s the entire problem with meeting people online:  you never know.  They could really be an organ harvester looking to sell your kidneys on the black market or, worse yet, your testicles. How much would that suck to wake up in a bathtub filled with ice only to find your testicles gone?

But I guess it could always be worse.  I could always end up on the news like George Michaels and have to release a music video with gold urinals. Talk about tacky.  I never want to be forced to save face by releasing a video like that.  I mean, disco is so out of style it’s not even funny.

*Please note that I could, very well, be lying through my teeth.  That’s the great thing about this medium:  I can say or do whatever I want.  As long as somebody finds it entertaining, that’s all that matters.

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