Vista sucks about as well as a llama

Vista sucks. And not in that good mind-blowing blow sense of suck. Not even in that “holy shit, who would have thought a rim job could be good” kind of blow. It sucks in that “what the fuck was I thinking when I hit that” kind of sense.  But at least now I know why they were charging $75 more to get XP than to go with Vista.

To be blunt, when comparing the two, XP is that amazing prostitute that gives the great head and has the nice, firm tits everyone wants to play with, while Vista is the overused whore on the corner who wasted all her money on pointless cosmetic surgeries in a vapid attempt to make her more attractive, all culminating in her being the chick that makes you think, “Oh, snap, that bitch done got hit by the ugly truck and the mother fucker backed up and ran over her again!”

I played with 98 quite a bit.  Instead of masturbating while I was in high school, or surfing the net for porn, I stayed up all night playing with settings and breaking Windows (which, honestly, is it really that hard to break Windows?) so I could figure out how to fix it.  Then I downgraded to 95 because I was bored and did the same thing.  All of that made XP not so difficult to work with when I had a problem.

Vista?  That’s a whole different ball game.

It’s like when you sit down at the table to play cards and you’re all “Hit me!” or “Double down” and then they tell you you’re playing poker and you’re all “What the fuck?  I don’t even play poker!” and then they laugh at you and take all you’re money.  That’s exactly what Vista is like.

But it’s ok, because I pretended I was a complete and utter moron and did exactly what someone who only knew how to check their email would do and now I have a working computer.  Yay for being intelligent enough to act stupid enough to fix Windows.

And I think I may have just insulted myself.


  1. If you think Vista sucks, try Windows 7. You will praise Vista as the best thing since sliced bread. There are so many times I just want to chuck my brand-new £300 netbook across the room, just because it’s running on 7.

    I am downgrading to XP. XP is my lover. Windows 7 is like the one-legged, cross-eyed pregnant prostitute that charges extra because she is one-legged, cross-eyed and pregnant.


    • The best OS I’ve found has to be Linux. I would rather run on that then anything else. My evil Uncle Steve, however, insists that I run either a Mac OS or Windows, so I must have that on a partition somewhere. My parents, however, don’t want to learn anything new. When my dad got this computer and he turned it on he was mad it didn’t look like Windows 3.1. Thus, I get stuck cleaning it and fixing it when someone gets a virus.

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