Stop, vagina time!

So it was an interesting weekend.  It started with getting told off about what the staff does when I’m not there, peaked with vagina, and ended with me blogging.

It has come to my attention I am expected to break the laws of physics and be both at home/not working/having fun/getting drunk and also babysitting the staff who are working while I’m enjoying said off time.  And by babysitting I mean holding the hands of the 60+ year olds I supervise.  And by holding their hands I mean telling them exactly what to do, when to do it, and possibly holding it while they pee.  I’m not okay with that.

Saturday night, as usual, there were loads of drunk/stoned/high/generally-insane-and-not-in-that-completely-fun-way people.  Then these two couples came up.  I was too busy dealing with the couple inside to stop the couple outside that was copulating on my trashcan.  Hey, I’m not going to complain since it was, thankfully, not on the hood of my truck.  I don’t need to explain that dent to my insurance company.  So they walk in (the inside couple, not the copulating couple) and are looking for the bathroom (because the 2 ft by 2 ft sign just doesn’t work) when the chick, who’s drunk, says, “Ohhhh, it’s under the sign,” like a total airhead, even though her completely sober boyfriend couldn’t find it.  On her way there, I notice that, hey, that little black dress is up kinda high and I can totally see her HOLY SHIT THERE’S A VAGINA HANGING OUT!  And then she dropped her jacket.  And her boyfriend was too busy looking down her cleavage to pick it up so she, of course, had to show me EVERYTHING!  I think that experience alone has made me completely gay.

Any sexy single guys out there wanna go out?  I just want that image to not be burned into my brain any longer.


1 Comment

  1. Hee hee hee

    hysterical blog – those visuals are now seared onto my left cortex as well, so no thanks for that, however beyond that totally love it!

    And as someone who is totally gay, if was not already that way (my mom blames herself), this may just do that!

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