Sugar We’re Going Down (boys that don’t suck, part deux)

Okay, first off, a minor rant of utmost importance to the continuation of the human race:

If you’re going to have a letter (or two) in a word, they should be pronounced, and if someone pronounces them, they should be applauded for passing their hooked on phonix course, not scolded for being an idiot.  Ex.: deux, meaning, 2.  WHY DOES IT HAVE AN “E” AND AN “X”?  We don’t pronounce them!  This is utter insanity!  It should be pronounced either (dee-ucks) or, for those who believe a letter can “steal” the sound of another letter (day-ucks).  BUT NO, it’s not.

And, for the record, couldn’t that possibly be what’s wrong with society is that, at such a young and tender age as that of when we are first learning to read, we are taught that it is completely “ok” to steal things from others so long as it serves a purpose?

Teacher: Hey class!  Today we’re going to learn about how the letter “C” sometimes steals the sound of the letter “S”

Pupil1: But my mommy told me it’s wrong to steal and that I’ll be eaten by a moose if I do!

Teacher: Oh, it’s okay-

Pupil2: A moose once bit my sister!

Teacher: No, a moose won’t eat you for stealing a sound, children, so it’s going to be alright!

Pupil3: Bitch, gimme your iPod ‘fo I shoot you!

Pupil1: WHAAAA!!! *gives away iPod and curls into fetal position sobbing, even 45 years later when recounting this memory in therapy*

So, you see, a letter should only use it’s own sound and not be such a horrible influence on our children!  We should get together and petition Congress to change the laws so that each letter can only use it’s own sound and those that don’t should be censored by the new Letter Association Registered Dialect for American Single Sounds, or L.A.R.D.A.S.S.  That way no child will ever have to suffer the horrific fate of Pupil1, nor be given improper social training, as did Pupil3.

I went to a sandwich shop with a friend on Wednesday (don’t get me started on this word and that horrible English pronunciation) and utterly enjoyed my sandwich.  And then I got sick, causing me to utterly hate my sandwich.  And then we went and saw “Daybreakers” with Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe.  The only good things about that movie were Dafoe’s one liners and Ethan Hawke taking his shirt off for, like, 10 seconds.  And, holy shit, Ethan Hawke’s gotten old.  Also, Willem Dafoe made a deal with Satan because he never seems to get older.  He ALWAYS looks like that, although in this movie his hair is died.

Totally not worth a $7 ticket and $9 for two small sodas.  Seriously, $4.50 for a small fucking soda?  What’s wrong with America today?

Answer, see above.

Leave a comment

No comments yet.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s