Things I learned in Austin

The first thing I learned on my trip to Austin: The people who paint trucks have absolutely no idea what they’re doing.  Really.  Case in point:

Is it chicken or is it fish?  It says both, and I call foul!

I'm not eating there, ever, cause I'm not sure what I'll get.

Also, the people that work at Barnes & Noble in the area hate gays…or they are possibly trying to convert Dr. Laura into being gay.  Proof:

She hates gays, so why is she surrounded by them?

This poor book is surrounded by gay books...I kind of feel bad for it.

I still don’t understand why you’d want to have large signs announcing “Covert Park”.  Isn’t the whole point of being covert to not be easily found, if at all?

Seriously, a 6 foot sign announcing the covertness of the park

It's like playing hide and seek while screaming

And then, after climbing the horrible stairs and almost dying (computer people are NOT supposed to exercise), I feel all good about myself because I’m looking down upon all those tiny little rich people below me and see this:

Now they have two boat garages for every house!

Seriously, each unit is a two boat garage for that house. Just rub my middle classdom in my face...stupid rich people!

But, the coolest thing I learned in Austin is that it’s a bad idea to launch fireworks off a cliff at the rich people below you.

a large sign announcing how bad an idea it is to do this

Do I really need to caption this? I think not.

So if you ever go visit Austin, be prepared.  Also, be nice, because no one likes the asshole who’s mean to the special people.


  1. I lived in Austin for a few years, and one major thing i learned while living there is to use your middle finger a lot while behind the wheel and to also NEVER wear deodorant.

    Oh and that grown ups use Eeyores birthday as a excuse to gather at a park and take lots of acid. Its true. Google it.


    • Oh, believe me, my middle finger got QUITE the workout while I was up there, as it usually does whenever I feel the urge for a Slurpee…especially if one attempts to park downtown. I think next time I’m going to take my bike with me, park near Covert Park (still can’t get over that name), and ride into downtown. But at least it’s better parking than downtown San Antonio (I mean, really, $8 for parking in someone’s front yard?)

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